Sunday, August 24, 2025

Social anxiety

If you had seen me today,
I might have appeared triumphant,
Arms spread wide,
In my casual stride, 
With a smile just as bright and eyes sun lit. 

And on the inside, I was rehearsing lines, 
affirming my life, 
Softening the tight knotted 
muscles of my stomach

I walked the block for 15 minutes, 
Arriving too early for our summit,
And when you arrived
I wrapped my arms for a hug 
And pushed the thought out
That I’d already buggered it

And for two hours I fought
with a backstage thought 
About the volume of my voice
Amongst the clamoring noise
And the croaked choked passage  
where by breath caught

Like my pancakes, my stories were half chewed
No punchline to make, cart besting the horse 
Dismissing the intrusive thought to turn the joke lewd,
My tongue jumbled my words,
 and made the awkward worse.

But as I faded into mumbles to end it, 
You left me with a compliment…
said I’d been the best part.


So I should have left -a full heart, instead
My mind spent the next part
Worrying…
Have I given her the wrong impression? 






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