Saturday, August 01, 2009

Hermenegildo Thurgood (August 09)

Most would find it to be the most ironic twist of fate, a doom beyond the norm, a man and natural made calamity. But Hermenegildo Thurgood (Hermes for short) could only laugh, for his predicament was in his eyes entirely self created.

Some years back Hermes had the bright idea to share his body with the needy of the world. Recent advances in medicine had allowed him to donate all the secondary body parts to which he was no doubt accustomed to using but which in existence seemed redundant and greedy to him to retain, as if a second arm were a thing to spare, he spared them. The entirety of his left leg, left testicle, a portion of his liver, a portion of small intestine, 1 kidney, 1 lung, the entirety of his left arm removed at the shoulder, one ear complete with all the hearing components needed, one eye, and perhaps most absurdly one half of his remaining teeth. This last donation even bothered the medical professionals in that it was absolutely unnecessary due to the prominence of false teeth in the world. The other gifts the surgeons took willingly for there was a shortage and a war going on and if the organs and parts were given willingly then no one could complain about the ethics for it was a hard time… everyone had to make do without. To top this Hermes told several of the doctors who had seemed more reluctant that he was dying of some rare disease that none of them bothered to look up but which magically did not affect the coveted areas of his body.

This was the reason Hermes laughed.

For he had spent very little time in this newly adjusted body, and light as it was the strain of adjusting had put a damper on his brain. The doctors had said he had had a stroke sometime the evening before. The paralysis appeared to run lengthwise down the right side of his body, the only side of his body.
Most men would cry.
Hermes laughed.


******************************************
I woke up thinking about this.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's really tragic, but I really, really like.

Also, update please.

Anonymous said...

Hermenegildo Thurgood

Hermengildo Thurgood began to laugh…
Some years back Hermes had the bright idea to share his body with the needy of the world. Recent advances in medicine had allowed him to donate all the secondary body parts to which he was no doubt accustomed to using but which in existence seemed redundant and greedy for him to retain, as if a second arm were a thing to spare, he spared them. The entirety of his left leg, left testicle, a portion of his liver, a portion of small intestine, 1 kidney, 1 lung, the entirety of his left arm removed at the shoulder, one ear complete with all the hearing components needed, one eye, and perhaps most absurdly one half of his remaining teeth. This last donation even bothered the medical professionals in that it was absolutely unnecessary due to the prominence of false teeth in the world.
The other gifts the surgeons took willingly for there was a shortage and a war going on and if the organs and parts were given willingly then no one could complain about the ethics for it was a hard time… everyone had to make do without. To top this Hermes told several of the doctors who had seemed more reluctant that he was dying of some rare disease that none of them bothered to look up but which magically did not affect the coveted areas of his body.
…and this was the reason Herme´s was laughing, for he had spent very little time in this newly adjusted body, yet as light as it was, the strain of adjusting had put a damper on his brain.
The doctors had said he had had a stroke sometime the evening before. The paralysis appeared to run lengthwise down the right side of his body, the only side of his body.
Most men would cry. Hermes laughed.