shades (summer 1999)

So I put on these shades
And watch the world die
See the roof cave in
And ignore the cries
I see babies starve to death
And all I do is sigh,
And perhaps say goodbye
Cuz I put on these shades

So I put on these shades
And cry all these tears
Behind these dark safety glasses
I see real life fears
I see things I cant stand to believe
And so I don’t
But when I look in to a mirror
I cry
Because I don’t have shades

So I put on these shades
I see a child with holes in his shoes
I see so much pain
I cant stand to
So I look away to safety
Yet still I lose
And so I choose
To turn around without shades.

((((((this was a song I sang out loud while writing it... crying. We were at a school in Tanzania, a dirt field with shards of glass, a classroom without desks or even walls or a ceiling (the broken pieces of which were used to sit on, or write on)
I was in a pissed off crabby mood, and refused to see. But life hits you hard when you feeling stubborn, and that little kid was just staring, not able to say anything, hoping for a pen or a piece of candy. we can try to ignore it, but its there and we know. Life is too important to be hiding from, too many people are suffering to not say anything. --so says me now and at 15 crying in the back of a van. The first time I performed this i think i cried throughout the whole thing, i prefaced it enough so people knew what i was talking about, and i think i have always shook, but im pretty sure it was something different then.))))