Business shirts sleeves rolled back
gestures normally not so revealing
our gaze falling centered on....
those old hippopotamus arms...
Those old hypo-potomus fillings
those old hypodermic seasons
from old hypodermic needles
treason that triggers
the triggers that treason
treason that triggers
the scraping off of memories
new daggers cutting throat as the void is filled with desire
unconscious reaching for that smoke
longing isn’t the word for contemplation of a reason
security, vision, clarity
“it’s me” he says Pleading for understanding and we try to understand why?
Why?
Why
revision isn’t an option
selling soul for new derision every time
to come adjacent to the higher calling
sampling the atmosphere
fear is not the case
stop signs don’t project the limits
when god is in your face
in your face with smiles that hang about
sincere for every moment
a friend at every moment
a purpose of every moment
just a moment
before your ripped and torn from unity
from chasing feelings kept inside
follow lack impunity
screaming sometimes
prison sometimes
new jobs to fill the time
the void,
the boredom of not having a mission
uninspired
the depression of not having a vision
no hope
the anxiety of not knowing your welcome
its just fear
the instance of knowing your not!
your not.....
too much to take
he didnt sign up for that
a few months to kill till he can function
a few months to tread till he can stand
a few months to feel this compunction
a few months till serenity reaches out for his hand
****this is really about Chris, the second or third poem I have written about him, I guess in so many ways watching him struggle with life and with addiction hit me really hard, its why I get so scared when I’m with him, Its why I rarely call though I wonder constantly how he is doing…. Anyway I was thinking about our last lunch conversation, I was thinking about how I wanted to keep that relationship, wanted to have those lunch dates those movies those video games. Not the taking him out to the parties, not the visiting him in treatment, but the real conversations. Im not sure that chris has ever shot up, I don’t know his method of in take, but I thought about how hard it is for him to stay focused on staying healthy, as every little thing is a sign that hes an addict.*****
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment