ladies (fall 2005)

They feed her coke and whiskey till she passes out
Then the boys get frisky and they pass her about
As if she were the pipe that they smoke from
And she don’t want to know so she plays dumb
Those feelings of accepting she gets from their addressing
their own misguided pleasure
keeps her unsure of whether

they really care
she’s doesn’t want to face it
I make her aware
With my gaze pass her shoulder
She’s heartbroken there
I wonder how to erase it
She says it isn’t fair
And I’m wishing that I could hold her

Intentions are the best when you walk into her place
but insecurities get the best and she don’t discriminate by case
her defenses are mended several times so when you tell her you love to seeher
she without thinking recalls her horror in the mirror
when they beat her many times, or said she looked ugly and fat
and though doctors love to tell her she don’t have to worry about that
she always assumes

nobody really cares
she doesn’t want to face it
I make her aware
By looking her in the eye
And she faces her heartbreak there
But only for a second
Till she says it isn’t fair
And later I break down and cry

The risk is the worse part, summoning up her strength
And after 6 months she finally says “you know we are going out”
And he says ok after joking about it for a great length
And with some help she confronts abusers though not her own
And it helps her feel so much stronger trying to protect those kids from
their own home.
So with much contemplation she decides to depart
With some confidence and all our hearts
She heads off understanding

we all care
And shes happy to face it
I make her aware
my head pressed to her shoulder
And I hear her heart beating there
And wonder why they tried to erase it
So I say a little prayer
For her safety while I hold her - hoping it won’t be the last time.


*****wrote this in about 15 minutes after a take back the night and before an open mic… Its about three people I care about, or rather its about things that happened to them (abuse), and their struggle/my struggle to deal. I think its pretty disrespectful to chalk this up as a culminating event of their lives, and thus Im sorry that I don’t have something better to say. But its hard for me to deal with the fact that this came so easily to me, its hard to deal with the fact that I could add about 15 people I care about to this list without really even thinking… anyway… I write things like this hopefully to inspire hopefully to share that there are people who still care, and hopefully to let others know they aren’t alone.****


*****Video: I made this spring 2007. I was trying to put myself in the mood I was in when I wrote it so its kind of emotional... but because my camera only takes 2 minute clips I had to splice two clips together thus there is a really bad editing part before the last stanza. Hope this isnt too weird*****