circle entities (spring 2002)

Circle entities leave me feeling left out
out of time out of rhyme with no feelings of sublime
why when caring gets involved are the walls brought up and who complains in
the rain if the suns still out?

Artistically challenged brought to the form and formality
constantly waiting for a new surface reality
ever emerging, the Earth and the sorrow it bred
ever submerging new thoughts in my head
uplifting the guilt I've been shifting and fitting it into the next womb
who's next to be consumed
ripped through, but danced with
please interact with those feelings you've displaced you brought them to
this place
showed them with your face
its aggressiveness formed from the shape of your brow
and the flared nostrils still wondering how?
get rid of it you don't need but still repeat it end up once again with
everyone gettin cheated and you ask how to beat it?
I already told you once why much I always say things twice?
don't you think a single moment of pure truth should suffice?
but in the end I'm not representing nothin but vice
so I say it with forgiveness and the roll of some new dice

Circle entities leave me feeling left out
out of time out of rhyme with no feelings of sublime
why when caring gets involved are the walls brought up and who complains in
the rain if the suns still out?

I got my cloud my chair but my air is still missing
still waiting for breath and some life to be kissing
like the girl in the dream that I had last night
she was strange and deranged but left me feeling so light
my heart heavy with thought as I search and wonder
mind displaying and betraying all the secrets I ponder
my deliberations in the morning will be of life and reward
instead of reality, a life I cant afford
not that I couldn't get it, I mean I could If I tried, and I would if I
thought these gentle visions were really such a bad ride,
like the truth in your eye, shows you know I never lied, until the day I
came to you for help and got denied.
still
Circle entities leave me feeling left out
out of time out of rhyme with no feelings of sublime
why when caring gets involved are the walls brought up and who complains in
the rain if the suns still out?

I been dancing round in my head for a day and three nights
dissecting and rejecting looking for the cause of these fights
the flights from reality, my mind just one fatality, not worried bout
punctuality, the truth in its totality
Is what I got to find when I do I'll bind it to my brain
all these fools looking at me askin "is he insane?
does he pick a lane, or swerve from left to right?" tryin to do it all
mindful of police and stop lights.
stoppin school yard fights, up all night in search of new heights,
picked on by big dogs with loud barks and harsh bites,
Could I be the one in the alley shootin smack?
more likely the shy and sober one standin in the back
thats the way I play cuz all around me
got the pale imaginations of a crazy monkey,
always seems to be one guy who's convinced im a junky
sorry to disappoint I'm just a bored student flunky.

Circle entities leave me feeling left out
out of time out of rhyme with no feelings of sublime
why when caring gets involved are the walls brought up and who complains in
the rain if the suns still out?

*****I wrote this song for the band "Hung: with two johnsons" back in highschool.. the band name was because one of our guitarists name was kevin johnson and we were trying to get his lil sister to play bass for us... but anyway... I wrote this shortly after breaking up with Nikki while in class "writing a paper." I showed it to foulkes who i was back to getting along with and he said "aight," but basically this is my life in highschool. a lot of it is actually frustration with being a "caretaker" but also just realizing that i wouldnt want it any other way despite feeling like it didnt help, or that it didnt make my life easier by any means. I kept feeling like advice I gave got brushed aside and then turned out to be the right advice... but no one ever came back...
oh well its very egotistical.*******